Saw a fat girl dancing on a table.......... C&P from email.

I said to her, "Nice legs."



The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."



I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. " :doh: :Rolling:



*****************************************************


This real asshole patted my beer belly last night and



sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Blue?"



I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it." :Rolling: :Rolling:



**********************************************************



I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.



She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,



you'd look all right."



I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to that hot babe over there." :tooth:



**********************************************************



I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a



woman was born just by feeling their tits.



"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."



After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.



"Come on, what day was I born"?



I said,...............Yesterday." :getsmiley: :getsmiley:



***********************************************************



"Jesus loves you."



A nice gesture in church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison. :head_on_wall:



**********************************************************







Mowed the lawn today, and after I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers.



The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.



Finally I thought about an age old question:



Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?



Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.



Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.



Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby;



And here is the reason for my conclusion



A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,



"it might be nice to have another child."



On the other hand, you never hear a guy say,



"You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."



Case closed.
:Rolling: :Rolling:

 

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