Couldn't help myself

Q. What's the difference between a Creighton University sorority sister and a scarecrow? A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.

Q. What does a Nebraska Cornhusker do on Halloween? A. Pump kin! Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska? A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Nebraska? A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Nebraska burned down? A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q: What's the most popular pick up line in Nebraska? A: Nice tooth!

Q: Why do folks from Nebraska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? A: 17 and under are not admitted.

Q: Why did Nebraska raise the minimum drinking age to 25? A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Q: How can you tell if someone in Nebraska is married? A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: Why do Creighton grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Creighton University campus? A: A visitor.

Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over Nebraska? A: He wanted an academic challenge!

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Creighton University library? A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Nebraska's football dorm that destroyed 20 books? A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

Q: What does the average Creighton University student get on his SAT? A: Drool.

Q: How many Creighton University freshman does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: How do you make University of Nebraska cookies? A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Q: If you have a car containing a Cornhuskers wide receiver, a Cornhuskers linebacker, and a Cornhuskers defensive back, who is driving the car? A: The cop.

Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Nebraska? A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

Q: How do you casterate an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan? A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: Why did the Nebraska Cornhuskers join the Big 10? A: Because the Huskers couldn't count to 10 either!

Q: Why does all of the corn in Iowa lean to the east? A: Because Nebraska blows and Illinois sucks!

Q: Why did Tom Osborne pour his cereal on a plate? A: He lost his bowls.

Q: Whats the difference between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and cheerios? A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!

Q: Why do Nebraska students have TGIF on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First!

Q: What's the best thing to come out of Nebraska? A: I-80

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Creighton University campus? A. An undergraduate degree.

Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Nebraska? A: They cause too much brain damage!

Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Nebraska football fans buried up to their neck in cement? A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska Cornhuskers fan and a carp? A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Nebraska? A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q. How did the Nebraska Cornhusker die from drinking milk? A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What is the definition of a Nebraska Cornhuskers virgin? A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..

Q: What do they call students who go to Creighton? A: Rejects from University of Nebraska!

Q: What does a Nebraska Cornhuskers fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a Nebraska Cornhusker in a BCS bowl game? A: A referee.

Q: What do Nebraska and Creighton students have in common? A: They both got in to Creighton

Q: What's the difference between an Nebraska football player and a dollar? A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: Did you hear that Nebraska's football team doesn't have a website? A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Nebraska Cornhuskers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

Q: What are the best four years of an Nebraska Cornhuskers life? A: Third grade

Q: What does a Nebraska native and a bottle of beer have in common? A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Nebraska have in common? A: They both end up in trailer parks.

Q: What do the University of Nebraska and pot have in common? A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Nebraska? A. With a restraining order.

Q. What's the first thing a Nebraska girl does when she wakes up in the morning? A. Walks home.

Q: What do you call an Nebraska football player with a championship ring? A: A thief!

 

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