Need some help

Help me pick one of these.


Subject: Suggested Furlough Out of Office Messages

Can't do anything about it...might as well laugh!

-- I'm currently out of the office on furlough. If you don't understand what
this means, please go to your bank, take out 20% of your last paycheck and
burn it

-- I'm currently out of the office on furlough. I will be sitting at home
sipping on Jose Cuervo, because it's at least 20% cheaper than the good
tequila.

-- I am currently out of the office on furlough. I am not allowed to do any
work that would be related to my job. However if you need some manual
labor, you may find me at the Home Depot parking lot. Strong back, work
cheap, se habla español.

-- I am currently out of the office on furlough. I have incredibly easy
access to a phone and email, but I assure you, I cannot & will not use it
for work purposes.

-- I am currently on furlough and prohibited by law from checking my e-mail,
so you will not get a response to this message. As opposed to when I am not
on furlough, and am just ignoring you.

-- I am currently on furlough, and now care 20% less that I am not available
to respond.

-- I am currently on furlough, but appreciate the solidary of congress
members for their support. Some congressmen have announced they will now
reduce their use of spray-on tan to be 20% less orange. In solidarity, I
will cry 20% more.

-- I am sorry, I am currently out of the office on furlough, which has
reduced all DoD resources by 20%. For further information, plea....

-- I'm on furlough, which means I am not getting paid. Bite me.

-- I am currently out of the office on furlough. You cannot contact me, that
is illegal.

-- I am currently out of office on furlough. 20% of all incoming messages
will automatically be deleted.

-- I am currently out of office on furlough. Enjoy your reduction in
government provided services.

-- I am currently out of office on furlough. If you need to contact me I'll
Be on the corner of Dodge and 72nd with the base directorate coffee cup
panhandling.

-I am currently out of office on furlough. Since I am not being paid,
please contact someone who is.

-I am currently out of office on furlough (defined in the government
Thesaurus as being on vacation or the government dictionary as having been
laid off). If you need assistance contact a government contractor or
military person who is still working and being paid for it.

-Hello, I am currently out of the office on furlough. I would ask you to
contact my boss or his/her boss for assistance, but they are out on furlough
too.

-I am currently out of office on furlough. It is forced time off without
pay. Please contact Congress for assistance. They are actually not
working, but still getting paid for it.

 

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